Sunday, January 19, 2014

Mommy Monday...To the Clueless and Kidless...

Hey Y'all!

I hope you've all had a great week.  I'm sorry for the lack of posts lately, but I've been SUPER busy between work, school, and the kids.

Speaking of kids....

Yesterday I read a post on Facebook titled, "19 Things People Swear They'll Never Do Until They Have Kids".  It is hilarious and much appreciated by parents everywhere, I'm sure.  You can read it here.  Anyway, reading this article reminded me of a recent visit to Target...

I'm in Target A LOT...Usually it is my quiet sanctuary without kids, but several days ago, I brought the kids with me.  My kids aren't calm...Sitting in a buggy for more than 2 minutes causes major stress for them, apparently.  My kids aren't quiet....They sing, they giggle, and they fight (with each other and with me).  On this particular outing, they were being pretty good about sitting in the buggy.  We quickly strolled through the baby department without incident.  Then, on the trip from the wipes to the groceries, Karleigh started singing.  Not singing at the top of her lungs, but singing none-the-less.  And what cutesy, children's song was my 4 year old singing, you ask?  Dancing Queen!  Yes, ABBA's Dancing Queen (we can blame this on my mom) !  She knows every word to the chorus and continued to repeat it OVER and OVER again as I tried to grab groceries as quick as possible.  We made it through the groceries with no more than a few strange glances and replies from me like, "Yes, it's Dancing Queen...Don't ask.."
My little Dancing Queen...

Then, I made my mistake...I needed a new mascara.  If you know me, you know that I can't just go straight to the said mascara...I have to browse the make-up for just a couple of minutes.  I turned down the aisle and saw a cute 19ish girl in her sorority shirt standing at the other end.  She heard Karleigh singing and looked over to look at us like we had 3 heads.  I promise, she was barely singing above a whisper.  I understand that people don't go to Target to get a personal concert from a 4 year old.  But if you have kids, you know to choose your battles.  She wasn't loud and she was sitting in the buggy, which was a miracle.  As Karleigh continued to serenade us, this young girl huffed...you could tell she was annoyed...Hey, I know kids can be annoying, especially mine (they are just like their daddy)..I gave birth to them, and they aggravate the heck outta me sometimes.  I told Karleigh to stop singing and be quiet.  She did...as she climbed out of the buggy.  She was standing next to me as I was bent down picking out the right type and shade of mascara.  She swung around and her arm knocked over several lipsticks that were on display.  The noise scared Mason and he started to cry.  Karleigh was profusely apologizing (and covering her bottom)... I NEVER leave a mess that my children have made, so I started picking them up while holding Mason on one hip, fussing at Karleigh to get back in the buggy, and trying to keep the oncoming panic attack at bay...I looked up, and Ms. College looked over at me, rolled her eyes, and shook her head.  I was standing there with a crying baby, one that was alternating between "i'm sorry" and Dancing Queen, and just about the entire collection of Maybelline lipsticks on the floor in front of me.  She didn't offer to help me pick them up, she just gave one more huff and roll of her eyes and walked off.  

Maybelline's collection was returned to the proper spot on the shelf and we paid for our buggy full and walked outside.  I was boiling mad at Ms. College...how dare she be such a witch?!  

And then...
I remembered 19 year old me...The one that would see children in the store throwing temper tantrums.  "My kids will NEVER act like that", I'd say.  "I'll never use a TV as a babysitter!".  The list goes on and on...

We can't blame these kidless people.  They have great intentions; just like we did.  But the reality is, kids aren't perfect.  They will be loud, they won't listen, they'll make messes.  They will embarrass you nearly every time you are in public.  You can do your best to discipline them and teach them right from wrong, but they are human!  They will eventually mess up, and chances are, it will be in public.  

 As for Ms. College, I'm not mad at her.  She'll have her day in Target someday.  Maybe she'll even remember the day she got so aggravated at my kids and she'll have an Aha moment.  

So, when you're in that situation, think back to your 19 year old self.  Think about all those know-it-all parenting remarks your clueless butt made.  I would go back and punch my 19  year old self in the throat!  And young people, remember, don't EVER use the phrase, "My kids won't act like that."  Because they will.  And, they'll probably be worse!!  

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Bye Y'all!  


1 comment:

  1. Laughed out loud, Shannon! First of all, it brought back memories of you throwing crackers at everyone when we were in restaurants to you laying on the floor in a grocery store throwing a tantrum because I didn't put something you wanted into a buggy...paybacks are hell, huh? And what's wrong with the soundtrack from Mama Mia? Instead of "Dancing Queen," would you rather I encourage her to sing Lay a Little Love on Me"?

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